I know my usual writing comes from my “boy mama” perspective. Today I have been thinking about a stage that is (hopefully) far in the future.
To my boys, and the girls you will someday date:
Take a moment and try to benefit from my heartaches and mistakes.
I know the need to feel loved. I know the happiness it can bring, having the attention of the opposite sex. I also know the heart-shattering plummet from being rejected. Know this: You are worth so much more than putting up with drama and nonsense. Being treated well doesn’t cause heartache.
You are a treasure, and if someone isn’t treating you that way, then you are setting yourself up for a long road ahead. I have watched friends go back to someone that treated them like dirt. Belittled them, used them, had no respect or regard for them. My sons: this better not be you. Girls, this does not have to be you. (And girls, also better not be you, Mama Bears don’t mess around.)
You do not need to compromise your standards or ideals of your dream spouse. God knows your heart, and has a beautiful plan for your life. I spent many years thinking that if I tried God’s way, somehow I would be missing out. Oh dear one, how I was so wrong. God’s way is ALWAYS better. Always. God does not give us bad things. He is a good, good Father who wants to bless us and give us the very best. If your earthly father loves you so much (and I know he does) and wants to give you good things, how much more so does the Lord?
Everyone needs their own independence and to make their own decisions. But never waste the resources you have in your parents and grandparents. We have protected you and cared for you, and all we want is to see you healthy and happy, making good decisions. Being an adult and choosing your path doesn’t have to come all at once. Enjoy school. Choose trustworthy friends. Rely on older, wiser Christians to help you make wise decisions. There is FREEDOM in slowly gaining your independence. Adulthood is hard. Life can be painful and messy. But if you surround yourself with godly counsel (parents, grandparents, friends who love the Lord), you can be supported as you encounter all these things. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. People will fail you. I will fail you, friends will fail you. Boys: every girl will fail you. Girls: my sons will fail you. But the Lord never will.
Spend your time building your relationship with the One who will never leave. That is where the treasure is. And if you do that, the Lord will not leave you in ashes. His way is also the best way.
May it be MANY years before you need to read this.