I believe God is always showing me things. I just don’t always pay attention.
He gives me a glimpse of what He sees sometimes, just a hint. If I am open, then He opens my heart even more and teaches me.
I was fixing Zach a snack the other day, cutting up strawberries for him and Gavin. I had to wash them, then cut the leaves off, then cut them into small enough pieces so Gavin could eat them too. Zach stood at my side, waiting impatiently.
“Zach, I have to wash the strawberries.”
“Zach, they are not ready, it will be just a minute.”
“Noooo, me this!!!”
“Zach, I will give them to you in a minute, but you have to wait.”
Crying, fit-throwing, pouting.
Of course he got his snack shortly, and he enjoyed them. But that 5 minute wait was torture. He was so mad at me, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t have them NOW.
Oh how I saw myself in the actions of my 2 year old.
I know God wants to give me good things. I know He has amazing plans for my life. There are things I pray about, and want Him to take care of for me, but I just can’t understand why it can’t happen NOW. He showed me in that 5 minute interaction with my son, how childish and unseeing I can be. I know why I did not give Zach the strawberries as soon as he asked, they were still in the package, dirty, and not prepared. I knew I was going to get them ready for him, and in my concept of time, 5 minutes was nothing. But in the mind of a 2 year old, 5 minutes is eternity. He saw strawberries, and he wanted them. In his mind he only saw me telling him to wait, or in other words, NO. Of course it was not NO, it was WAIT. For 5 minutes. But that was too much for him, so he yelled, cried, and stomped. I wish I could say I do not behave that way, but in relation to God and how I ask him, I am a 2 year old.
I cannot comprehend the mind of God. I cannot understand his concept of time, because he IS time. I cannot remember what day it is much less grasp the workings of an all-knowing, all-seeing God.
Thank you for reminding me that while I do not always understand, You know what you have in mind for me. That what may seem like a NO, may just be a WAIT. You know what you are doing. I am a mess, and can’t make it without You. That is the point. I am not supposed to.
I need to hold myself to the same standards that I ask of my children. Trust and obey. I expect them to trust me, that I will take care of them. I will not let them starve, I will comfort them, I will provide. I need them to listen, and do what I ask. So simple, yet so hard. For all of us. As a 2 year old obeying our parents, and as a 31 year old obeying God.
So I am working on it. And the next time I see my 2 year old have a temper-tantrum, I will be reminded that all I need to do is trust and obey.