We Didn’t Know

August 22, 2018

Four years ago, we were sleeping in an empty house on an air mattress. After filling two moving trucks with the contents from our first home, we slept there uncomfortably, closing that chapter and excited to start a new one.

We didn’t know what the future would hold.

We didn’t know the next night in our new home, the air conditioning unit would catch fire.

We didn’t know how God would protect us.

We didn’t know He would provide just what we needed to repair and improve our new home.

We didn’t know that six months later we would be expecting a new baby.

We didn’t know that just a few short days after that we would discover we would not meet our precious child until Heaven.

We didn’t know that after another long 8 months we would again find out new life grew within me, but this time would bring us joy by adding our third son, Lincoln.

We didn’t know a few months after Lincoln was born, we’d see my mom start a battle with breast cancer.

We didn’t know the next year would bring a triumph for my mom and she would be a Survivor.

We didn’t know this new house would be the last house we shared with Gwynny.

We didn’t know that the cul de sac we were moving to that had only a few children, would soon be bursting with them.

We didn’t know we’d come home to this new house, devastated by the loss of both of our jobs.

We didn’t know this new house would end up being the place Stefan came home to from a new job, and I would finally not have to leave for work, but stay home with my boys.

We didn’t know.

All the prayers He would answer.

All the ways He would provide.

All the pain that was coming.

All the joy that followed.

All the growing.

All the noise.

All the tears.

All the memories.

And as I sit here in this house, our home of four years, I am grateful. Thankful to my God for all that has happened and all that I still don’t know.